Friday, November 19, 2004

When You Find Yourself in a Hole, Stop Digging

The Democrats are thinking about making Howard Dean their party chairman. All right. it's their party and they can appoint any spokesperson they want. But the purpose of a party is to win electionsm therefore their choice of a presidential ticket needs to involve great care and concern in picking some with broad appeal. So who are they speculating about today?

Why, Hillary Clinton and Barbara Boxer.

Yes, Bozer was the third largest vote getter in the country on November 2nd. In California, home of San Francisco. if you want to pick off a red state, that is certainly the ticket to do so, yes?

Uh, no. in 1998, the Democratic Party held every major statewide office in California exacept for Secretary of State, and held bog majorities in the state legislature. Party leaers exstacically proclaimed California would be a laboratory for progressive social policy, and beacon unto the nation.

Five years later, the state was nearly bankrupt, thousands of jobs leave the state every month, as do many citizens, who are fast becoming refugess of confisctory taxe policies. Seventy percent of the new residents of neigboring western states were from California. Gov. grey Davis was only the second governor in history to be recalled, and now a Republican is in office.

The laboratory was a dismal failure, but the Democrts are looking to peel off one of its stewards as a VP candidate. They never learn, and may very well do the way of the Whigs before long.
Train Wreck

I discovered by accident that it is NASCAR Week on the Family Feud. here we have some second tier driver and his pit crew competing instead of families. I suppose this was a good idea in theory, with auto racing second only to football in ratings, but....

"Name a city you'd be afraid to live in," queried the host.

"Uh...New Jersey," answereth the driver.

(*Clap* *Clap*) "Good answer!" cooeth the pit crew.

With this in mind, I'm waiting for NASCAR Week on Jeopardy. I can see it now:

"I'll take pot-poor-eye fer a grand, Alex. You shoor got a purty mouth, boy."

I'm not holding my breath, mind you. I'm just speculating at the moment.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

American Liberalism As Seen from the United Kingdom

Janet Daily writes in the London Daily Mirror:

There are lots of reasons why the liberal intelligentsia in the United States has so spectacularly fallen out of touch with the true democratic will of the country. Part of this is geographic - the electoral map with its huge mass of red states, fringed with blue bits hanging on for dear life at the edges, was clear enough. But the picture was far more complex than that map reflected: the real story is one of break-away Hispanic and black voters who went conservative on the social issues that John Kerry's campaign had thought to be a strong card with minorities. The truth in America, and in Britain, is that the Left-liberal axis has lost its way: it has failed to notice that its "liberalism" has become an off-putting orthodoxy with which most people do not identify. Government ministers have been pretty quick off the mark in noticing this: that is why [Home Secretary] David Blunkett is assigned the task of making anti-liberal noises. The Tories, alas, have yet to get the message. They still seem to think it is up-to-the-minute, state-of-the-art politics to talk like a sociology lecturer from the 1970s.

In the United States, liberalism has not only overplayed its hand but it has tried to attach the spirit of the 1960s civil rights movement to causes that the great majority see as inappropriate. Everybody that the orthodoxy adopts becomes an honorary southern American black: persecuted, exploited and downtrodden. Gays, however wealthy, successful and influential they are, must be portrayed as social victims whose lives are made hell becausetheir unions are denied absolute legal equivalence with heterosexuals. It is quite true, as everybody is saying, that in Britain, gay marriage is not the explosive issue that it is in America, where Biblical authority has much more sway. (But the Westminster obsession with gay issues such as the age of consent certainly is out of tune with most people's sense of political priorities.)


They know ours better tan we know theirs, yes?
Restocking the Cabinet

President Bush appreciates. That was pretty clear in the first term, as there were no real dissenting voices other than Gov. Whiyman at the EPA, and she resigned over having her advice ignored. Even Powell, who did his job with the loyalty of a 35 year veteran of the armed forces, was clearky uncomfortable with much of what he was asked to go along with. But fasten your seatbelts for the next four years, because the Cabinet is becoming even more of one voice.

I have no particular objections to Condi Rice being Secretary of State. She will probably do an admirable job. but we can't overlook the fact that while serving as National Security Advisor, we suffered theworst attack on our soil in American history. That is grounds for resignation, not promotion. yet that's exactly wat she is getting. That's because she is a confidant to the president, and one who is unlikely to dissent when it may be prudent to do so.

Recall Powell's testimony before the Security Council on Iraq's WMD program which even he admits was questionable evidence. Would Rice have ever voiced her reservations? Doubtful, and that may not be a good thing.

Bush relies on the Attorney General for sound legal advice, but now has Gonzalez, another trusted confidant who owes his entire political career to Bush. How quick he is going to put the brakes on the President's more iffy propositions?

I hope I'm being cynical. As a Sunblet Reaganite, I want the conservative agenda to shine from coast to coast. But I understand political cronyism first hand, and ideology and pragmatism are the first things to go out the window when no contrary voice is present.
Housekeeping

The glitch that destroyed half an entry a few days ago has been fixed. blogger has developed two irritants as of late. First, it does not automatically post anymore, so correcting all istajes in spelling and grammar can be time consuming. Second, if two blogs are being published at the same time, they can get mized. That's what happened here. I got some boring academic thesis and the other blogger got a hilarious and insightful mocking of the French.

He got the better end of that deal, if you ask me.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

Clinton Watch

Regular readers, who seem to care about nothing but diverticulitis and pornography acording to the stats tracker, know that we here at Casa de polyphemus often keep our lone eye on that Theatre of the Absurd called the United Nations. We now have an update to a previous post regarding Bill Clinton's bid for Secretar-General. Amb. John Danforth stated there wasn't a whole lot of buzz on the matter, and there is a general prohibition for the top spot to come from one of the Permanent Big Five.

So it looks like Clinton may be out of luck. just aswell, I suppose. Considering how scandal plagued the UN is now, would someone with as clean a moral record as Clinton has want to sully himself with it?

Nevermind.
Lost Horizon

I really like the new show by J.J. Abrams, Lost. If you haven't seen it, it;s about the survivors of a plane crash from Sydney, Australia to Los Angeles. The castaways (Heh.) are trapped on an island that has some sort of mystical secrets, including a creature of some sort to whom we have not been given a good look.

so far, the only real hint we've been given of the island's power is that a parapalegic has been healed. Conveniently, no one noticed he was in a wheelchair when he boarded the plane, and he's kept the miracle to himself. Convenient, no? Nevertheless, this week sets up the Novembers sweeps episodes in which we discover anothers of the island's incredible secrets--even more incredible that one of the castaways being a former Iraqi Republican Guard and an enlightened liberal, too boot--they are not alone.

Dum. Dum. Dum.

I keep calling them castawys deliberately. I first tuned into this show because I wondered how Abrams could make a decent drama out of the Gilligan's Island premise. I really wondered how long such a show could last. Hopefully a while, because I'm hooked.

Monday, November 15, 2004

French Fried

I'm sure no one noticed, but the French made a concerted effort to influence the American election for John Kerry. I caught a repeat of foreign newscasts on C-SPAN a few days ago (Stut up. I'm a political junkie.) in which some Frenh talking heads were lamenting that Americans were too dumb to et there message. To which I have to ask, did you see any French advertising in the US? I didn't. What exactly did they do to reach the American voters? Did Pierre come to your door?

"Eet ees imperateeve you voting for John Kerree, mon chere."

It would appear the French made some sort of advertising campaign. knowing them, it was only on French TV. putting advertisements for Americans on French TV is like putting instructions on bars of soap for the french. You are just not going to reac your target audience.

The biggest problem France has is that it has no idea that it has no idea that its influence in the world is nonexistent. the only thing Americans know about France is that we occasionally have to kick the Germans out of it. We know that because our grandfathers are buried there. I've been to Normandy, and the cemetery there. The graves stretch into the horizon.

The French have been defeated by the Mexicans, Algerians, and the Vietnamese. it has no militart influence, either, much less political clout. What's my solution to this whole deal? Boot France off the UN Security Council. It was given a seat in order to restore its national dignity under the assumption it would be a world power again. That has not panned out. We could increase what little efficasy the UN has by replacing France with a more influential country, such as Jspan, India, or Brazil.

What do you say we vote France off the island?
For Tradition's Sake

I'm not much of a NASCAR fan, but it is so pervasive here, you pick it up whether you want to or not. I live about 20 minutes away from the Darlington Motor Speedway, nicknamed the Track Too Tough to Tame because of its steep turn which causes an awful lot of wrecks. It is one of the oldest tracks on the circuit and now, one of the smallest. The Old Girl can't draw crowds like Las Vega, Dallas, Chicago, or Indianapolis. In recent years, NASCAR raced in Darlington for the sake of tradition. To Southerners, tradition is just about everything. But economic reality has to take precedence.

Yesterday was the last running of the Southern 500. there will no longer be a Fall race at Darlington. There are an awful lot of brokenhearted rednecks down here. It's not a pretty sight.In honor of the event, here's Cletus T. Judd (the Weird Al of Country) with:

I Love NASCAR

We got owners, favorite drivers,
Boy, that Tony Stewart's a whiner.
And we got rookies, advertisers,
Like uhhh let's say: Havoline, Target, Sharpie, Caterpillar, Nextel,
Mountain Dew, Dupont, Lowe's, Home Depot, Kodak, M&Ms, UPS, Tide, Alltel, Gillette, Kelloggs, Viagra, Dewalt, and uhhh Budweiser.
But the trophy girls still have my favorite parts.
Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, I love NASCAR.

We got cautions, we got pitstops,
You can't hear a dang thing once the flag drops.
And poor Kyle Petty, an' Swervin' Marlin, ha ha,
Are gonna find it tough to beat Mark Martin.
'Cause that Viagra car is always driven hard.
Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, I love NASCAR.

I love NASCAR, it's my kind of race.
Just watchin' Jeff Gordon plow up a wall,
Puts a smile on Dale Jr.'s face.
No caviar, it's beer and Mopar.
Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, I love NASCAR.

I like short tracks, you'll see more wrecks,
And about a million screamin' rednecks.
And ol' Jeff Burton, ha, an' poor Mike Skinner,
Well, they've done forgot what it's like to be a winner.
And Ken Schrader still ain't sure who his sponsors are.
Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, I love NASCAR.

"Hey, that was a close one up there fellas I about got into one there.
I might pull over right up here next pitstop, I want you to get two right front tires.
I need a wedge on the left side, get this windsheild cleaned, get on the gas.
And if you don't care, hand me a pair of underwear, I have messed all in my drawers."

I like football. (I like football.)
I like my wrestlin'.
I like a good game of air hockey,
I like some ping-pong now an' then.
How about you, Toby?

(Toby)
I love NASCAR, it's my kind of race.
Just to see Big E back on the track,
Would put a smile on every face.
No one drove a car quite like Earnhardt.
Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, I love NASCAR.

(Both)
Vroom, vroom, vroom

(Toby)
Gentlemen, start your engines

(Both)
I love NASCAR.

Saturday, November 13, 2004

Final Point for the Day

Senator Norm Coleman: The GOP would do well to groom this guy for national office. he took to the Senate lie a fish to water. I heard him speak along with Sen. George Allan. He was insightful and articulate. Plus, he is keeping the UN's foot to the fire in the Iraqi Food for Oil scandal, which much of the world seems to be ignoring. it's easier to just blame the United States and be done with it, i suppose.

What do you think--Frist/Coleman '08? Too bad it won't be Cheney/Coleman '08. That would be a dream, no?
Peterson Case

I knew Scott Peterson was going to be convicted.

I knew it because several jurors were booted off. These jurors were hemhawing while the rest were convinced Scott was guilty. The rest of the jury wasn't going to take the chance of a new trial and letting Peterson get away with it. I knew it because Geragos wasn't there. there was not way he'd miss a chance to ham it up for the camera if Peterson were found not guilty. He pretty much looked over at Scott and said, "Son, you're on your own," and headed for the hills. I knew it because Peterson gives people the creeps. In America, no one who looks creepy catches a break. Which is fine in this case, since that animal murdered his wife and unborn child.

Will he get the death penalty? Probably, but the average stay on death row in California is twenty years. He's more likely to die of beri beri than the gas chamber.
The Roadblock on the Roadmap to Peace

Yasser Arafat was buried yesterday. Good riddance to the man kofi Annan called a "gret statesmen." United Nations' flags were flying at half mast in honot of him. If that doesn't indicate to you the UN has its sense of values skewered, nothing will. The man got 98% of what e asked for in the last peace talks and turned it down. he also lined his pockets with six billion dollars in aid that was supposed to go to his people. through it all, they still loved that bozo, because, as you know, you can gwt away with anything in the Arab world as long as you hate Jews.

Ms. Arafat would let the Palestinian Poobahs in to see Arafat in his last days. I'm pretty sure it was because she didn't want them to see her jump on top of him, grab him by the pajama lapels, and scream, "Where's the six billion? Where's the six billion?"--which i'm sure she didquite often. not to fear, however. Shewil receive $22 million a year from the Pa to keep up her lifestyle in France. Michael Jackson only spends $1 million a month, so one wonders what her lifestyle must be like.

I guess after cuddling up with a Fred Sanford knock off for years, she deserves it.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

Lies, D*amn Lies, and Statistics

Civilian Casualties in Iraq: Ever wonder how accurate the 100,000 death toll is? Wonder no more. This article critiques the methodology used in the study. Their finding? The number is a guess and may e wildly off by as much as 92,000.

I'm not saying these deaths aren't a tragedy. They are. But to inflate the number in order to promote an antiwar agenda, as I and I'm sure you have seen numerous times in recent days, sullies the memory of those who will never get to live in a free Iraq. That has to be challenged.

Critics take note the article is from Slate. not exactly a bastion of conservatism.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

Thinning the Herd, Chapter 231

Man Injured Trying to Convert Lion to Christianity: This gentleman is obviously unaware of the long animosity between the lion and the Cristian. Darn you, Aesop.

On Second Thought

Here's a tidbit of commentary to whet your appetite:

Four more years!
Four more years!
Four more years!
Four more years!

That is all for now.
Election Results

I got the presidential race and three Senate races incorrect. Fortunately, that mistake meant the GOP won all four races. Therefore, I am happy to be wrong. i have further thoughts on the issue, but they will have to wait for another post. in the meantime:

Diverticulitis
divaticulitis
DIVATICULITIS

Don'tyou just love messing with Googlers who can't spell? For the record, the first spelling is correct. This has been a public service message from one rotting colon to another. At the sound of the beep, the time will be 9:03 AM.

Monday, November 01, 2004

In Case You Missed It

Michael Moore is one of the most unethical and dishonest figures in the world, much less the United States. Why anyone takes him seriously is beyond me. He has gone on recod in Europe as stating Americaans are too stupid to hold the power and influence in the world that they do. Perhaps moore should take the $50 million he's made off his dishonest propaganda and move to a utopia more suited for him, lik France.

I wouldn't miss him, would you?
Election Predictions

Continuing the tradition from my old online journal, here are my winning picks for cam-pain 2004:

PRESIDENT: Kerry wins in OH, PA, and FL. There were more job losses in OH than votes Bush carried it by in 2000, steelworkers have forgotten Bush in PA, and there will be a high voterturnout in FL. Historically, that helps the Democrats. Plus, Hispanics largely oppose the war in Iraq. That all spells trouble for the President.

Winner:
John Kerry

SENATE: The GOP keeps a majority, but it is still not filibuster proof.

Winners:
DeMint (SC) Rep.
Burr (NC) Rep.
Castor (FL) Dem.
Obama (IL) Dem.
Salazar (CO) Dem.
Isakson (GA) Rep.
Daschle (SD) Dem.
Bunning (KY) Rep.
Knowles (AK) Dem.
Vitter (LA) Rep.
Coburn (OK) Rep.

U'S. HOUSE: The GOP keeps it's slim majority without any major changes. I cn't wait for Nick Clooney to lose, though. Can you?

FOR THE FUTURE:

Look for Hillary Clinton to have a coronary over her lost opportunity in 2008 if Kerry wins. Conversely, she's the Democratic Goldwater in 2008 if bush wins.

Barak Obama is the Democratic VP choice in 2008.

Guiliani rus for governor of New York once e realizes his pro-choice stance will keep him from the GOP nomination for President.

Sen. Frist (TN) and Gov. Owen (CO) are GOP favorites regardless.

John McCain becomes the next Bob Dole: the laest best man to never be president.

The Intifada intentifies when Israel refuses to allow Arafat to be buried in Jerusalem.

Tony Blair wins a narrow victory in the UK and has to turn his attention towards domestic issues.

The next Secretary General of the United Nations will be from Asia.

The President of Pakistan will be assassinated for aiding the United States.

Bin Laden will still be at large.