They're Coming to Take Me Away! Ha! Ha!




Surgery preparation is tomorrrow, and it's going to wipe me out. The actual abdominal surgery is Monday morning. I'm going to spend my last day of freedom for a while away from the computer. This will be my las post for at least two weeks I imagine. God bless until then--and hopefully long after.

The Twenty-Five Greatest Sci Fi Episodes Ever

Let's lighten the mood around here a bit. This list is compleely my own opinion. It has very little to do with the quality of the show or the importance of the episode in either sc fi or the show's history. These are are just episodes I am pleased to find on when I'm soaking in some good old phosphor dots. Yes, the name of the show should e in italics, but adding the HTML tags was an irritant. Just use your imagination.

25 “Distant Origin” (Star Trek: VOY) Dinosaurs didn’t go extinct, they built space ships and left Earth. You don’t have to be stoned to appreciate this, but I imagine it helps. Watching the dinosaurs take over Voyager is prety cool. Still, it the sheer stupidity of it all that makes the episode worth watching.

24 “Starvin’ Marvin in Space” (South Park) Marvin steals a space ship belonging to a alien race whose every noun is Marklar. He’s pursued by Pat Robertson, while Kenny is frozen in carbonite by Sally Struthers. It isn’t Asimov, but it’ll do.

23 “Amok Time” (Star Trek: TOS) Remember back in high school when you told girls if you didn’t have sex, you were going to die? Well, for Vulcans, it’s true. Yep, Spock’s on booty call.

22 “The Pyramids of Mars” (Dr. Who) This is cheating a bit, as this isn’t a single episode, but it’s my list and I can break any rule I want. This was the first Dr. Who I ever saw, and how could you not like seven foot tall mummies wrapped in ace bandages?

21 “The Trouble with Tribbles” (Star Trek: TOS) Actually, I don’t tink this episode is anything special, but it’s on everybody else’s list, so I put it on mine. I suppose this is what being a lemming feels like.

20 “The Path of Sorrows” (Crusade) An empatic alien brings out the sob stories of the crew members. Laid he foundation of what might have been for the lste, lamented show, cut down before it really got going. *Sniff.*

19 “World Killer” (Sliders) The episode itself is fairly mediocre. The Quinn of this world makes he entire world’s population slide onto another world, and really couldn’t care less. What makes this episode memorable is hat Reny has a copy of Action Comics #1 folded into his back pocket. Remy, only ten of those exist anymore and it’s worth six figures--or at least it was before you folded it up. I still wake up in a cold sweat over his one from time to time.

18 “Night of the Skulls” (The Wild Wild West) It barely qualifies due to the Jules Verne--esque gadgets, but it is my favorite episode of the show. A secret cult whose members wear robes and skull masks are kidnapping serial killers in a plot to wipe out the federal government’s highest officials, allowing the cult’s head, the Senate Majority Leader, to take over the United States.

17 “Invasion” (Sliders) The first appearance of the Kromaggs. This was to be a pivotal episode in a continued storyline that, alas, was pretty much scuttled when series creator Tracy Torme left the show. One of the Sliders was a traitor, and he original professor, who was left behind on a previous slide would return. Ah, the thoughts of what might have been.

16 “Close Encounters of the Absurd Kind” (Married…with Children) No one believes that aliens are stealing Al’s socks. Indeed, hey are using them for fuel to divert a comet and save the galaxy. Thus Al finally gets his glory, although he never knows it.

15 “Confessions of a Cigarette Smoking Man” (X-Files) The most pivotal events of the last 40 years are CSM’s doing? Yep. But he really just wants to write.

14 “Shock Treatment” (Quantum Leap) Al composes a rap (on the spot, no less) o teach a mentally incompetent man how to read. I like it for the sheer absurdity of the whole thing.

13 “The Man Who was Never Born” (Outer Limits) A man goes back in time to prevent a plague that wipes out all of humanity, not knowing that setting things right eliminates him from existence and strands his new love alone in the future.

12 “The Mysterious Cube” (The Adventures of Superman) Put this one in the So Bad, It’s Good category. A bank robber hides away with his loot in a giant cube in his back yard. He’s been in it for seven years waiting for the statute of limitations to run out. That’s only days away as police try to open the cube before it’s too late. Superman, of course, does so easily. Try not to think about the logic (or lack thereof) for this one, or your head will explode.

11 “Spock’s Brain” (Star Trek: TOS) Yes, I know many fans considered this to be the worst TOS episode of all time, but you just can’t beat a zombie, remote controlled Spock and, “Brain? Brain? What is brain?” Maybe I am just reminded of a Chi Omega blonde I used to hotly pursue, but that line nearly put this in the top ten by itself.

10 “Unity” (Star Trek: VOY) A severely wounded Chakotay is saved by a lanet of freed Borg. The neat part about this episode is that it presented being part of the Borg Collective as being positive and beneficial. The freed Borg manipulate Voyager into establishing their own planet wide collective. Meet the new Borg, same as the old.

9 “Point of No Return” (Babylon 5) Sheridan declares he station independent and fends off an attack by President Clarke’s forces. this was the turning point of the show, which kicked the overall story arc into high gear.

8 “Jose Chung’s From outer Space” (X-Files) An author interviews all parties involved in a supposed alien abduction, but no one can get their story straight--including Scull and Mulder. A hilarious Rashamon parody.

7 “The Sixth Finger” (Outer Limits) A scientist uses a machine to acelerate he evolution of a simple-minded yokel into man from the far future. With his now heightened intelligence, he decides the best solution to the world’s problems is for man to be destroyed. His girlfriend tricks him by reveritng back to his former ignorance. The moral of the story? Ignorance is bliss? I don’t know. Makes for good TV, though.

6 “Endgame” (Babylon 5) In the slam, bang climaz of the show, Sheridan and crew liberate Earth from President Clarke’s dictatorship, and Marcus sacrifices himself for Ivanova. very few shows can pack so much into 44 minutes and make it good, but Babylon 5 could.

5 “City on the Edge of Forever” (Star Trek: TOS) The Nazis winning World War II has been a subgenre of sci fi since the late forties, when every villain worth his salt was saving Hitler’s brain. This episode fits in the genre without actually showing any Nazis. truth be old, this episde is on the list not so much on its own merit, but because of the 30+ year tantrum Harlan Ellison has had over his original script being rewritten. There are still some places on the Paramount lot where the grass won‘t grow..

4 “To Serve Man” (Twilight Zone) Aliens come to Earth with the promise of ending hunger and disease. It sounds great until a limguist discovers their guidebook, To Serve Man, is actually a cookbook. Eat your heart out, Iron Chef.

3 “Z’Ha’Dum” (Babylon 5) Captain Sheridan follows his supposedly deceased wife to meet with the Shadows so they can explain their philosophy of war. Instead Sheridan explains his by nuking the capitol city. This episode established Sheridan’s “Nuke ‘Em All and Let God Sort it Out” method of conflict resolution. You can’t argue with it’s success.

2 “Ghost in the Machine” (X-Files) This was an unusual episode, as it had no alien, supernatural, or government conspiracy elements. An inventor creates a security system with a survival instinct. When the CEO of a company using the system wants it shut doen, the system kills him, then hobbles Scully and Mulder’s ivestigation.

1 “Best of Both Worlds, Part I” (Star Trek: TNG) I was tempted to add the second part here, but I just couldn’t justify it. Virtually any resolution could do justice to the set up. This episode made the Borg world beaters (literally) before they were subsequently watered down. the clogdancer featuring Picard being assimilated ino the Borg Collective even made my jaded comic book loving heart skip a beat.

An Event?

I just noticed this post will send my last post from April of the front page. In it, I said I was going to an eye surgeon to have a shower of flosters loooked at. Hours later, I will have left law chool behind abd eaded home to South Carolina with a detached retina tht would never be fixed. What a difference a day makes, huh? At least all the entries on the front page reflect my new reality.

Did I Hear That Right?

Iran Warns of Preemptive Strike Against US Forces: I am assuming this is just macho posturing, but Iran should consider that the governments of those surrounding occupied countries were overthrown in a matter of weeks. Perhaps they think Jimmy Carter is still president. Its just as well thy maintain friendly relations with him. If they attack American forces, hey will need Habitat for Humanity to help rebuild.

Limited Scope

The quality of my blog has gone down considerably. This used to be full of commentary on politics, law, and every bit of esoterica that crossed my mind at any given moment. Now it reads like an old man sitting in a nursing home rattling off a list of his ailments. yes, I need to add a bit more variety to what I'm writing. It's hard for old interests to hold my attention when I am feeling so rotten. regardless, I have had a few sleepless nights a the computer and have some interesting stuff forthcoming to tide any weary passersby wo might stunble onto this siye during my coming hiatus. Right now, I've got to go to the hospital to draw blood, tinkle in a bottle, and have an EKG. pre-operation work is fun, no?

Now gwt off my lawn, you little whippersnappers. Darn kids.

It's A Go

I'm going to have surgery Monday morning to take down the colostomy. The surgery itself isn't so bad, but the recovery is a slow process as the body readjusts. That means cereal and crackers for two months as well as some other...uh...interesting...things that raised my eyebrow in appropriate Spock-like manner. I didn't say "Fascinating," however. More like, Yes,Sir, Mr. Torquemada, sir. Sounds like fun. Wanna know statw secrets?"

The preparatio isn't fun, either. last time this was an emergency operation, so it was done on a wing and a prayer. Now, I've got to do all the trappings. The big risk here is infection, particularly perotoinitis. Thus, I'm taking an antibiotic nicknamed Chemo in a Bottle several times on Sunday. It's virtually guaranteed to knock my empty stomach for a loop. This should be loads of fun.

I expect the hospitalization to be comparable to last time, which means 1-12 days. it will also involve tubes in interesting places, so I expect be unavailable via internet for at least that long. Trust me. I wouldn't be good company regardless.

This will delay the "pie in the sky" surgery on my blind eye, but so much time has passed since it completely deached, there's sense of urgency. In other words, the results are going to be negligible barring Divine intervebtion. Still, I'm going to do it eventually anyway. To respond to a comment left an entry or so ago, yes, I am going after the blind eye. I'm like the Special Forces--I leave no man behind.

New Toys

Wanna see some of the new toys I get to play with? Click here. Yes, I know this situation isn't ideal, and some of this stuff Gyro gearloose would create, but I'm trying to make the best of things. Vanity has never been an issue with me, and since I have been vissually incapacitated one way or another since April, it is even less so now. Actually, I think this stuff will make me a more colorful attorney. It's all about attitude.

Yes, I am still holding out for better than expected sugery results on my totally blind eye and perhaps LASIK on the 20/200 other eye, but I was never one to put all my eggs in one basket. That is one thing that hasn't changed about me.

Elaboration

Delvered up sooner than you thought, too, kids. That;s called service. The tip jar is by the door. Give 'til it hurts. Anyway, I am deeply depressed. To put more accurately, I'm having some tough ups and downs. I used to think it was trite when a depressed friend said there were good days and bad. Now uI know that is actually true. Hopefully that wuill make me a more synpathetic person in the future.

I watched John Osteen yesterday morning, which is something I virtually never do. Even as a devout Christian--or maybe because of it--I can;t usually tell the televangelists from the gme show hosts. But, I watched, because his message caught my ear. He spoke of Job and Ruth, of mourning loss. God expects one who has experienced loss to mourn for a season, then move on. To do so means one has an absolute faith in God to provide.

I can't say that I wanted to hear that. I dudn't. But i know it has to be done. My season hasn't yet ended, but I will not allow it to linger on past its time.

My Weekend

Ugh. Just ugh. Elaboration forthcoming once I put it into words.

Gut Feeling

We;ve called the surgeon'a office daily for over a week now. There's a report from the gastrologist sitting on his desk which spells out the next step, at least as far as my digestive system goes. my eye is another matter. I finally just scheduled an appointment for the 18th so he can face-to-face tell whether this colostomy is reversable or not. I'm going to be gentle about the whole thing, of course. You should always be polite to the guy who may disembowel you.

Odd Association

This talk of ancient languages brought up an old memory. Somewhere around 1997, I met a kook on an apologetics message board. Hard to believe, I know. He placed the Curse of Kulan Goth on me. I believe that is one of Conan;s memises. I snickered at the time, but, by Crom, I;ve gt to wonder now.

Nah--unless I can convince Red Sonja to save me....

Oops

All righty. I;ve made a few needed corrections to the last post. I'm still getting used to these visual adaptions, so virtually everything I write is going to have a hint of esperanto in it. As usual, i just scoff and call anyone a Philistine who questions it.

Seriously, I have started a few writing projects. Having a daily page count does me good nowadays. As is my usual MO, they are each in a different format so I have something different to do. The only one I have really planned ut so far was outlined while staring ar a hospital room ceiling with a feeding tube down my throat. It sounds like it would be a cheeerful comdey, I know, but it actually has some dark moments. Doesn't beat all?

While we seem to be running on a semi-Stargate theme, do you noticeevery commercial break on the Sci Fi Channel starts with an ad for that show and Atlantis? Even at three o'clock in the morning. Looks like some bet the farm on its success, no?

Add One to the Blogroll

Please welcome the Scribe of Thoth to the illustrious blogroll. For those, like me, who think every episode of Stargate SG-1 looks exactly the same and Richard Dean Anderson is and always will be Macgyver, it should prove to be an interesting read.

Patron Saint

I talked to my old Roomate from Regent today. He'd been studying in the United Kingdom. It would have been a much more involved trip if he'd looked at the exchange rate before he left. This was the first opportunity I had to explain my health situation. He;s decided to offer a prayer on my behalf to St. Jude, the patron saint of Lost Causes. As a good southerner, I amwell in tune with Lost Causes. Now I am one. There;s a certain symmetry in that, one supposes.

Old Home Week

Well, I'll be. Now Ruth shows up. Perhaps we should all hold hands and sing Hail, Hail, the Gang's All Here Too bad this entry is going to be quite boring. I slept all day long. The only monumentl thing to occur was the piece of chocolate cake I had for breakfast. Well, my breakfast time, anyway. You non invalids would call it supper. There;s been no word on when or even if my reverssl surgery is going to happen. I know there is no Crohn's disease, but that doesn't mean the surgeon is happy about the scar tissue that formed. I;m not famous for patience, and this waiting is really tough.

Faith, Hope, & Charity

I talked to old classmate from Regent a little over a week ago. Natalie is a dear, sweet person, and the kibd of Christian who truly beliees you can move a mountain with enough faith. I literallt coute the days until I knew her bar exan would be over and called to tekk her everything.

Like the rest of my classntes, she knew I left school early for surgery, but assumed my retina fell into the 90% that are succesfully repaired, not the 10% that aren't, and she had no clue about y colon rupture. We prayed, and she said she'd start calling every Sunday. She hasn't.

I probably scared her off. I did sob like a lunatic when we finally did talk. She spoke of miiraculous healing and reminded me of Saul, blinded on the Damascus Road, ten healed by God to serve His plan. I don't chase rainbows, and usualy have no patience for those that do, but I am disappointed to not hear mote.

Hold Back the Night

Here I am, awake in the middle of the night typing away on the computer. I've gone back to my old habit of sleeping in two four hour shifts instead of ne eight hour period. That way I;m awake when everyone else is either gone or asleep. I like the near solitude. I say near because the cat is constantly curled up beside me. She's done that every night since my abdominal surgery. She's a good listener, and I have very little stomach for talking to people these days.

I've tried writing in the last few days to pass the time. I miss using my own laptop, but t is still in Virginia Beach along with all my other stuff. There are too many things going on down here to go get them. I am a walking skeleton anyway, and din't much care to present myself. I ave the whim to update my home page to reflect my new life circumstances, but someow that seems like admitting defeat.I'm pretty sure the war is over and the other side has gone home. At least they salted the fields before leaving.

Simple Things

I'm alone in the house for the first time in months and all I hear is the hum of the refrigertor. I take my peace of mind whereever I can get it these days. It comes too rarely to miss savoring it.

Sliders Logical Lapse

I've been watcing Sliders for the last couple of weeks, and yes, I am desperate. The show is pretty uneven in quality from episode to episode, but there is the occasional gem. But what is really irking about the show is liding itself, When our heroes enter the vortex, they take a flying leap and go head first into the unknown. Isn;t that stupid when you don;'t know where you are going to land?

Does this bother anyone else, or am I just losing my grip?

Strange Dream

Stay wuth me here. Last I had a dream that has been bothering me all day long. I was in the gymnasium at my old high school talking with classmates. Suddenly, one of them picked up a girl and cradled her in his arms like a baby. I wanted to try it, too, but I couldn’t lift her. She complained bitterly because I couldn’t do it right. For some reason, this dream has given me a sense of loss.

No surgery date has been set as of today.

Where the Sun Don;t Shine

I had a colonostomy today. It wasn;t the worst experience of my life, but at any other point in time, I would probably think that it was. Nowadays, it,s just routine. My surgeon suspected I had Crohm's disease. That;s an intestinal disorder causing inflammation. If i had it, this colostomy couldn;t be reversed, Three people said it looked lke I had it: a radiologist, a surgeon, and a gastro-intestinal specialist. Well, todat, after cramming a tube fro you-know-where up to my eyeballs, they finaly decided I don;t have Crohm;s disease, and the colostomy can be reversed.

Considering the drstic changes in my lifestyle thanks to my eye, this is a Pyhrric victory, But, likw they say, any landing you can walk away from is a good one. Whoever ame up with that saying ought to be shot on sight. I’ll have an actual date for the surgery hopefully before the end of the week. I should be able to post a few more etrues before the operation. It took two months to recover from the initial surgery and I lost 15 pounds eating Jello and cereal. It won;t be much better this time around, either.

E-mail

Hotmail has allowed me to reactivate my old account. If you sent anthing since April 15 or so, I never saw it. Please feel free to send again. It will take a little longer to respond, but I've lost touch with many I'd like to talk to again--especially now.

After All This Time

I've debated long ad hard whether to keep this blog after everything that has happened. I finally decided I would go nuts if I didn't, so here it goes.

Unfortunately, I did have a detached retina. We tried to repair it with a gas bubble twice, I laid face dowb for over a month, and we even tried to weld it on with a laser. It came off abyway. I am leglly bling ib my remaining eye.

(Yes, this magnfying accessory is annoying, but I'm getting used to it,

Just to make things interesring, I had a bowel rupture that forced me to have a colostomy. A specialist diagnosed me with Crohm;s disease, but a colonostomy showed that wasn't true. The colostomy will be reversed in the next week or so.cI left kaw schol without being able to graduate. I have bo idea when ir even if I can take my exams in order to graduate.

I am currentky cocooned in my sister;s house, bling and crapping in a bag, So, how;s your summmer been?